Transformations
hate.
Noun, often attributive.
Webster's dictionary full definition:
1a: intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.
b: extreme dislike or antipathy.
We've all been there. As adults, we've survived, however you wish to define it, the transition from adolescent to teen to adult. Most of us have probably experienced at one time or another during those periods, "hate".
I know from personal experience that I at times "hated" school. I "hated" the teasings and jokes made at my expense in regards to my intense stuttering. I "hated" the kids who laughed at and made fun of me, I "hated" the teachers who pointed out my "disability" during class and I "hated" the school leaders who did nothing to make it stop and prevent it from happening again.
I "loved" my speech therapist for taking the time to help me, even though it was her job, one that she chose for whatever reasons, it gave me a great feeling of peace and confidence knowing that she "knew" my pain and was determined to get me through it. To this day, almost 40 years later, I still use some of the techniques she taught me to calm the nerves and help me concentrate.
There have been times when I "hated" one of my siblings, mostly for the picking on, the teasing and purposeful embarrassment in front of peers. I realize now that it is part of growing up, it was not meant to be maliciously harmful in any way and well, simply what you have to go through as a kid when you have older brothers or sisters. I love them dearly and hold no grudges or ill feelings towards them today, although I still bear the physical scars. But those now serve as "war stories" and funny tales to tell at family gatherings.
There were times when I "hated" my parents. I think we've all said it under our breath as we marched back to our rooms after getting in trouble. It seems silly now, after all, we got in trouble for doing what we were NOT supposed to do in the first place, right?
"...usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury". I "hated" my parents because I was angry at them for not letting me do what I wanted, thus in my opinion causing a "sense of injury".
My inspiration for writing this post comes from not only my own childhood but from being a parent as well. I'm witnessing these transformations from infant, to adolescent to teen first hand and silently telling my parents how sorry I am for putting them through hell. I know now that these feelings of "hate" are misunderstood feelings caused by the immaturity and ignorance of the world outside of the one they "live" in.
I know that as they grow older, these feelings and emotions will make more sense and be understood. I just hope that any damage that will be caused on all sides will be nothing more than a superficial scratch that will heal and any scars left behind will fade away with time.
I believe that the word "hate" has become too commonplace and overused just as much as the word "love". I just can't seem to wrap my head around the idea of having those two words put together to describe something. We've all heard it, "it's a love/hate relationship". What exactly does that mean? If you "love" something, you feel no anger, you feel no fear or feel no injury from what it is you love. So how can you "hate" the same thing?
No matter.
My point is, my children will experience "hate". They will experience "love". And just as I have, they will learn the difference between the two and come to realize how incorrect and confused they were.
And as parents, this is our job. To teach by knowledge, by example and by experience. Sometimes I feel as though it's a thankless job, and hope that when they reach adulthood they will take the lessons we taught them and be better people and have better lives than us. But I sincerely believe that when the day comes when our children come to us and says,"thanks, Mom and Dad for everything you taught me", that will be all we need.
Noun, often attributive.
Webster's dictionary full definition:
1a: intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.
b: extreme dislike or antipathy.
We've all been there. As adults, we've survived, however you wish to define it, the transition from adolescent to teen to adult. Most of us have probably experienced at one time or another during those periods, "hate".
I know from personal experience that I at times "hated" school. I "hated" the teasings and jokes made at my expense in regards to my intense stuttering. I "hated" the kids who laughed at and made fun of me, I "hated" the teachers who pointed out my "disability" during class and I "hated" the school leaders who did nothing to make it stop and prevent it from happening again.
I "loved" my speech therapist for taking the time to help me, even though it was her job, one that she chose for whatever reasons, it gave me a great feeling of peace and confidence knowing that she "knew" my pain and was determined to get me through it. To this day, almost 40 years later, I still use some of the techniques she taught me to calm the nerves and help me concentrate.
There have been times when I "hated" one of my siblings, mostly for the picking on, the teasing and purposeful embarrassment in front of peers. I realize now that it is part of growing up, it was not meant to be maliciously harmful in any way and well, simply what you have to go through as a kid when you have older brothers or sisters. I love them dearly and hold no grudges or ill feelings towards them today, although I still bear the physical scars. But those now serve as "war stories" and funny tales to tell at family gatherings.
There were times when I "hated" my parents. I think we've all said it under our breath as we marched back to our rooms after getting in trouble. It seems silly now, after all, we got in trouble for doing what we were NOT supposed to do in the first place, right?
"...usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury". I "hated" my parents because I was angry at them for not letting me do what I wanted, thus in my opinion causing a "sense of injury".
My inspiration for writing this post comes from not only my own childhood but from being a parent as well. I'm witnessing these transformations from infant, to adolescent to teen first hand and silently telling my parents how sorry I am for putting them through hell. I know now that these feelings of "hate" are misunderstood feelings caused by the immaturity and ignorance of the world outside of the one they "live" in.
I know that as they grow older, these feelings and emotions will make more sense and be understood. I just hope that any damage that will be caused on all sides will be nothing more than a superficial scratch that will heal and any scars left behind will fade away with time.
I believe that the word "hate" has become too commonplace and overused just as much as the word "love". I just can't seem to wrap my head around the idea of having those two words put together to describe something. We've all heard it, "it's a love/hate relationship". What exactly does that mean? If you "love" something, you feel no anger, you feel no fear or feel no injury from what it is you love. So how can you "hate" the same thing?
No matter.
My point is, my children will experience "hate". They will experience "love". And just as I have, they will learn the difference between the two and come to realize how incorrect and confused they were.
And as parents, this is our job. To teach by knowledge, by example and by experience. Sometimes I feel as though it's a thankless job, and hope that when they reach adulthood they will take the lessons we taught them and be better people and have better lives than us. But I sincerely believe that when the day comes when our children come to us and says,"thanks, Mom and Dad for everything you taught me", that will be all we need.
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